Growth as a Poet
In the earlier drafts of my poem I focused mostly on the perspective of time being good. I had wanted my poem to be carefree and uplifting. As I edited my poem, I began to realize that I was almost scared of venturing into the downsides and the bad parts of time. I decided that I in order to achieve the whole idea I was trying to communicate, I would need to add how time can destroy our lives and how we can lose time. I began toying with the idea of how time is a currency and how people can waste it and become rich with it. For a while I had almost two different poems, one about the perks of time and the other about the not so pretty side. I then decided that it lacked the sophistication I needed, and that I didn't need all of the words I was using. So I decided to become more cryptic in my stanzas. For example I went from, "Time is the world-wide currency. Some of us are rich with it, others need more. The lower classes are also poor on time. The cold that seeps and drugs that destroy take away their time" to " Time is the cold that seeps and drugs that destroy, that take away our time The dazzling stars of success, the goals we reach too early Take away our time." I then also added contrast and described how we can gain time in the same format. I believe this made my perspective on time more rounded and truthful.
One of the biggest changes I made to my poem was making the language I used more refined and mysterious. At first my stanzas were straight forward and didn’t leave a lot of room for the readers' own interpretations or imaginations. I wanted my poem to paint pictures in the readers' heads and for them to decide how they wanted to see time. So I began taking out words, changing them and even taking out whole lines and stanzas. One of the places the change is really prominent is when I changed, "Time is compared to a clock, Because it flies by. But time doesn't just fly, Time dilly dallies. It goes from place to place." to "Time is an old man sitting, watching a sunset. It goes on, and on. It never looks at its surroundings, but continues through Hearing and sensing his surroundings." I felt that changing the language would improve the emotional perspective of my poem because it left room for the readers to use their own experiences and relate them to my poem.
Moving stanzas around in my poem was another big change I made to my poem. At the beginning my poem was happy at the beginning and then I described the ugly side of time. As I went through the process of editing I realized that I didn't like the way the tone of the poem sounded, so I began playing with the placement of stanzas. After many drafts, I finally decided to go back and forth with my ideas. Now I had one stanza about how time can be taken away and then went on to describe how we can earn time. In a lot of my stanzas I would have both of the ideas in just the one stanza, "Time is a blank canvas that is swathed in the colors of our lives We are born with time, but we don't know how much. As we use our time, we are creating beautiful paintings. They may be horrifying images, but when crafted as one they form striking visages." I think this change improved my poem by adding conflicting emotions and showing the dark and light of a situation.
Towards the beginning of our poem writing process, I had decided that I wanted to make poem a tredicim. Shorty into the writing of my poem, I began to realize that I didn't have enough lines to say what I wanted. Since I really like where I had gone with the similes and metaphors that I had used, I decided to keep some of those lines, but expand on the ideas. For example I took the simile, "Time is a magician, a master at tricks and illusions." and added, "It is a hall of mirrors, sometimes disfiguring the truth But when you emerge, reality comes rushing back at you." After I added these extra lines, I was able to show what I thought and describe my feeling in a little more depth. I feel as though this change really added and intellectual aspect to my poem that I didn't have before. Readers were able to follow my thought process because I was explaining my thoughts to them.
One of the biggest changes I made to my poem was making the language I used more refined and mysterious. At first my stanzas were straight forward and didn’t leave a lot of room for the readers' own interpretations or imaginations. I wanted my poem to paint pictures in the readers' heads and for them to decide how they wanted to see time. So I began taking out words, changing them and even taking out whole lines and stanzas. One of the places the change is really prominent is when I changed, "Time is compared to a clock, Because it flies by. But time doesn't just fly, Time dilly dallies. It goes from place to place." to "Time is an old man sitting, watching a sunset. It goes on, and on. It never looks at its surroundings, but continues through Hearing and sensing his surroundings." I felt that changing the language would improve the emotional perspective of my poem because it left room for the readers to use their own experiences and relate them to my poem.
Moving stanzas around in my poem was another big change I made to my poem. At the beginning my poem was happy at the beginning and then I described the ugly side of time. As I went through the process of editing I realized that I didn't like the way the tone of the poem sounded, so I began playing with the placement of stanzas. After many drafts, I finally decided to go back and forth with my ideas. Now I had one stanza about how time can be taken away and then went on to describe how we can earn time. In a lot of my stanzas I would have both of the ideas in just the one stanza, "Time is a blank canvas that is swathed in the colors of our lives We are born with time, but we don't know how much. As we use our time, we are creating beautiful paintings. They may be horrifying images, but when crafted as one they form striking visages." I think this change improved my poem by adding conflicting emotions and showing the dark and light of a situation.
Towards the beginning of our poem writing process, I had decided that I wanted to make poem a tredicim. Shorty into the writing of my poem, I began to realize that I didn't have enough lines to say what I wanted. Since I really like where I had gone with the similes and metaphors that I had used, I decided to keep some of those lines, but expand on the ideas. For example I took the simile, "Time is a magician, a master at tricks and illusions." and added, "It is a hall of mirrors, sometimes disfiguring the truth But when you emerge, reality comes rushing back at you." After I added these extra lines, I was able to show what I thought and describe my feeling in a little more depth. I feel as though this change really added and intellectual aspect to my poem that I didn't have before. Readers were able to follow my thought process because I was explaining my thoughts to them.